


Håp

by tiptopevak



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 00:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9410216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiptopevak/pseuds/tiptopevak
Summary: The strangest thing about Even's panic attacks is that, mostly, they’re silent.





	

**Author's Note:**

> find it on tumblr here! tiptopevak.tumblr.com/post/156173010931/isak-had-never-really-known-what-a-panic-attack

Isak had never really known what a panic attack was before he met Even. Thought they were the loud, violent, shaking fits he saw in movies and on television.

And sometimes, he realises, they are. However, mostly, they’re not.

The strangest thing about them is that, mostly, they’re silent. Still. 

They’re the tightness in Even’s shoulders, or the glossy vacancy in his eyes when his body is present but his mind far away. They’re in how he curls up in isak’s bed one morning and doesn’t move an inch for four straight hours. In how he flinches away from Isak’s attempts of affection, whispers _don’t_ in a biting voice that barely crumbles out from between his teeth. How every breath sounds as if it is gutting his body entirely of energy.

Isak stays. Always. Brings him nibbles of food and drink, or snippets of life from outside the bedroom, like Even’s favourite music or movies or a kind word from a friend. Today, he brings a cup of too-hot tea which Even holds careful with both hands, fingers wrapped around, soaking up the warmth.

He sips at it once before setting it aside. Isak doesn’t know why that action seems so defeated, why his lungs squeeze in tighter. Even lays back down, so Isak kneels on the floor beside the bed, props his chin up on the mattress, and strokes Even’s hair gently back from his forehead. He presses his lips there, asks him with his mouth still on Even’s skin, “Where do you feel it? The sadness.”

Even’s eyes had already closed, so he blinks them open, slow. Heavy. Takes a moment, but eventually reaches for Isak’s hand, draws it in to press it against own chest, right above his heart. “Like ice.”

Isak kisses there, too. Hopes Even feels his love all the way down to his toes.

“The panic?” he wonders.

Even brings Isak’s hand higher, settles between his collarbones. Isak kisses it. 

“The guilt?”

Even’s tummy. Isak leaves two kisses there.

Fear is in his throat, thick. Regret is in his shoulders. Anger in his arms, his hands, his fingers - Isak kisses all ten of them and both palms.

“Hope?” It’s the last one. 

Even just looks at him, for a moment. then, hand gentle on Isak’s cheek, draws him in close, and kisses him softly.


End file.
